lyssa (tepsinnej) wrote in muti_fan,

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The Beginning

Several weeks ago, I'd advertised a desire for a surgeon who would perform amputations on me, to remove all four of my limbs, and leave me in a helpless, limbless state. The responses that I received were mostly as I expected: condemnations from people who called me 'sick', comments that no 'ethical' surgeon would ever perform such amputations simply because a patient wants to be rid of perfectly healthy limbs. I didn't really expect any serious replies from anyone willing to give me what I'd asked for, and I certainly didn't expect what I'd gotten.

I woke up this morning feeling somewhat more groggy than usual, but didn't think much of it, since I'd had some very active dreams last night... until I rolled over and stretched, to try to shake the sleep fom my still-befogged mind, at which time I became aware that I am now only in possession of three of my four limbs - my right arm is completely missing! This realization startled me into full wakefulness, and I looked around the room to find no sign of how this happened: I was in my own bed, in my own room, with no sign of surgical equipmed or personnel, or even any blood stains. Catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror, my reflection sure enough shows the right sleeve of my nightgown dangling empty at my side. Pulling back the sleeve with my remaining hand, I look at the stump of my right shoulder and see that it has been fully disarticulated, and the flesh has completely healed over the wound from which the arm had been removed; it fascinates me to see neither sutures nor scar where my missing arm had so recently been. As I contemplate this turn of events, I begin to recall some hazy memories of last night...

I'd gone to sleep relatively early for a change, having been exhasted after a full day's work, and my bed just felt so much more comfortable and inviting than usual. Retrospectively, it seems fairly obvious to me that I had been drugged, but the memories are too fuzzy for me to place when it happened. The first 'dream' I remember was someone dressed completely in white, who came in and spoke to me, saying: "We have come to grant your wishes." I had no idea who or what this person was, or why I was dreaming them up, but before I could give the question too much thought, the figure continued speaking, in a hypnotic voice: "Often people do not want what they wish for; but is it safe to assume that you would wish for what you want?" As I listened to the entrancing sound, and contemplated the cryptic words, it dawned on me that this dream visitor had asked a question. The only reply that I was coherent enough to muster was a simple nod of agreement, at which acknowledgment the scene in my dream shifted...

I was suddenly in a white sterile-looking room that could only be in a hospital of some kind... yes, definitely a hospital. It had some high-tech equipment about the room, which I was fascinated to look at, despite being unable to identify any of it. However, as sometimes happens in dreams, my attention became fixed on one tool that I immediately recognized as a 'laser scalpel', despite never having really seen such a device before. The next thing I remember is feeling the sharp burning sensation as the device was slowly moved across my shoulder, severing the limb from my body. Before the cut was complete, I passed out in the dream.

I realize now that what had awakened me this morning was that same hypnotic voice from my dream, speaking the words: "We shall return for the rest in time..."
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